1. Your shoes are the first thing people subconsciously notice about
you. Wear nice shoes.
2. If you sit for more than 11 hours a day, there's a 50% chance you'll
die within the next 3 years.
3. There are at least 6 people in the world who look exactly like you.
There's a 9% chance that you'll meet one of them in your lifetime.
4. Sleeping without a pillow reduces back pain and keeps your spine
stronger.
5. A person’s height is determined by their father, and their weight is
determined by their mother.
6. If a part of your body "falls asleep", You can almost always "wake it
up" by shaking your head.
7. There are three things the human brain cannot resist noticing - food,
attractive people and danger.
8. Right-handed people tend to chew food on their right side.
9. Putting dry tea bags in gym bags or smelly shoes will absorb the
unpleasant odor.
10. According to Albert Einstein, if honey bees were to disappear from
earth, humans would be dead within 4 years.
11. There are so many kinds of apples, that if you ate a new one every
day, it would take over 20 years to try them all.
12. You can survive without eating for weeks, but you will only live 11
days without sleeping.
13. People who laugh a lot are healthier than those who don’t.
14. Laziness and inactivity kills just as many people as smoking.
15. A human brain has a capacity to store 5 times as much information
as Wikipedia.
16. Our brain uses the same amount of power as a 10-watt light bulb!!
17. Our body gives enough heat in 30 minutes to boil 1.5 liters of
water!!
18. The Ovum egg is the largest cell and the sperm is the smallest cell!!
19. Stomach acid (conc. HCl) is strong enough to dissolve razor
blades!!
20. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day & while you walk, SMILE. It is
the ultimate antidepressant.
21. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
22. When you wake up in the morning, pray to ask God's guidance for
your purpose, today.
23. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that
is manufactured in plants.
24. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and
almonds.
25. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
26. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires,
issues of the past, negative thoughts and things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
27. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college
kid with a maxed out charge card.
28. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
29. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for
everything.
30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
31. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
32. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
33. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.
34. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
35. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will
this matter?'
36. Help the needy, Be generous! Be a 'Giver' not a 'Taker'
37. What other people think of you is none of your business.
38. Time heals everything.
39. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
40. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
will. Stay in touch.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. Each night before you go to bed, pray to God and be thankful for
what you accomplished, today. What if you woke up this morning and
only had what you thanked God for yesterday? DON’T FORGET TO
THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING.
43. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
Now: Think about sharing this with friends to help them lead a happier
and healthier life, too!
Sunday, 6 December 2015
Just Some Wise Musings and Life Hacks
Saturday, 5 December 2015
35 Quotes On How To Care Less About What Others Think
As kids we have to listen to our parents because we care. Soon our various relatives, friends, mentors and even people we barely know tell us how to live our lives, because we care. If you want to swim right, they tell you left is the way. And then begins the flurry of doubt that maybe what you want to do, or are doing, is wrong. As if all the self doubt wasn’t enough. So here we bring to you 35 quotes that will lead you to where you want to be, all the time telling you to take that leap of faith. Don’t care about what they want. Worry about yourself today. After all, self-care is the best kind of care that you can give.
1. “The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.” ― Virginia Woolf
2. “A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.” ― Mae West
3. “You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing.” ― Richard P. Feynman
4. “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”—Lao Tzu
5. “Never dull your shine for somebody else.” ― Tyra Banks
6. “If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.” ― John Lennon
7. “I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.” ― Michel de Montaigne
8. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”— Dr. Seuss
9. “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. “― Suzy Kassem
10. “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”— Oscar Wilde
11. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”—Steve Jobs
12. “Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.” ― Tina Fey
13. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.”— Albert Einstein
14. “Some people say you are going the wrong way, when it’s simply a way of your own.”— Angelina Jolie
15. “I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.”— Coco Chanel
16. “Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.” ― Erma Bombeck
17. “There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.” ― Marianne Williamson
18. “Believe in yourself and there will come a day when others will have no choice but to believe with you.” ― Cynthia Kersey
19. “No name-calling truly bites deep unless, in some dark part of us, we believe it. If we are confident enough then it is just noise.” ― Laurell K. Hamilton
20. “When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I’m already better than them.” ― Marilyn Monroe
21. “Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.” ― Tina Fey
22. “I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.” ― Charlotte Brontë
23. “I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things.” ― Amy Poehler
24. “You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.” ― Olin Miller
25. “There is nothing more attractive than confidence, once she sees her own beauty, everyone else will.” ― Habeeb Akande
26. “Few and mean as my gifts may be, I actually am, and do not need for my own assurance or the assurance of my fellows any secondary testimony.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
27. “People who repeatedly attack your confidence and self-esteem are quite aware of your potential, even if you are not.” ― Wayne Gerard Trotman
28. “So many people along the way, whatever it is you aspire to do, will tell you it can’t be done. But it all it takes is imagination. You dream. You plan. You reach.”― Michael Phelps
29. “Well, laddie, if you’ve let an old buzzard like me hurt your confidence, you couldn’t have had much in the first place.” ― Tamora Pierce
30. “Most people just want to see you fall, that’s more reason to stand tall.” ― Emma Michelle
31. “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” ― Aristotle
32. “He thinks himself rather an exceptional young man, thoroughly sophisticated, well adjusted to his environment, and somewhat more significant than any one else he knows.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald
33. “When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.” ― Lily Tomlin
34. “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” ― Sigmund Freud
35. “My dear, I don’t give a damn.” ― Margaret Mitchell
This article was first found in lifehack.org by Kasturi Roy
15 Self-Care Ideas for When You’re Feeling Down
I suck at self-care. I don’t get it. Am I supposed to take care of my physical biological needs? I already do that. Am I supposed to go buy myself a coffee, sit down and journal for an hour each day? Who’s supposed to watch my kid during this? Get a pedicure? As if I can afford that. Rub my own feet? Unsatisfying. I’ve had many counselors and friends explain and re-explain the importance of self-care to me, and I’m finally begin to understand how significant it really is for my emotional well-being.
1. Write
Get a journal that you keep handy to write whatever you need to. Sometimes it’s helpful to slow down and write about a problem, fear, struggle, or memory. Writing by hand will help you to slow down and process your situation more fully. But sometimes you might not want to write about the struggle or pain. It’s too difficult. So if you’re feeling like it’s too raw to process, just write about your day or make a list of your favorite candies or movies. Just write.
2. Talk to a friend, family member or even pet!
Verbalize your pain. Making yourself speak out loud about your emotions will help you to not isolate yourself or allow yourself to spiral into an emotional tsunami that is hard to escape from. If the situation feels too personal, just share it will your dog! I’m certain Spot will keep your secret, and in my experience, my dog is sometimes the very best comforter. (And she’s certainly the least judgmental listener I know!)
3. Cry
Let the tears flow. The best way to take care of yourself is to let yourself feel the emotions you need to feel. Bottling up your sadness or anger is not going to help you move past it. If you plant pain, you grow bitterness.
4. Move your body
You’ve heard it before: exercise releases endorphins and “endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don’t shoot their husbands!” (Elle Woods, Legally Blonde) If you can get yourself to do some yoga or go for a run, then you will seriously be doing yourself a service. But sometimes, just a walk around the block is enough to care for yourself when you’re feeling emotionally raw.
5. Shower
The shower is a place to be alone and focus on yourself without forcing yourself to engage the deep stuff if you don’t want to. You can mull over your parents’ divorce in the hot water, or you could focus or lathering up your shampoo. You need both and both are good you.
6. Make food
Don’t just eat, but make food. Cooking is a tactile and productive activity that will nourish your body and mind. The physical act of caring enough to make yourself a meal is a practical way to show yourself some love.
7. Blow bubbles or color
As juvenile as it sounds, blowing bubbles or coloring in a coloring book are simple, easy ways to ground yourself in the reality of your situation and relieve some stress. Allow yourself to return to childhood activities and feel a lightness return to your spirit. These are also great activities to engage in if you experience panic attacks or PTSD related flash backs.
8. Deep breathing
Practice breathing in for 8 seconds through your nose and exhaling for 8 seconds through your mouth. This conscious effort to slow down is a great start to gaining perspective. Plus, the added oxygen to your brain will help you calm down, lower your heart rate and quell rising stress levels.
9. Interact with an animal
Scientific studies have shown that interacting with an animal will lower your heart rate, drop your blood pressure and reduce stress. Care for yourself by caring for your pet! Your pet will thank you for it, and you will benefit greatly as well!
10. Sleep
It is not uncommon for people to slog through life on five hours of sleep or less. Our bodies are not created to thrive on so little sleep. We need a chance to turn off and recharge and if we aren’t given that opportunity in sleep, our physical and emotional health will struggle. I am extremely guilty of not giving my body the rest it needs. If I’m having a bad day or my emotions are getting the best of me, I can almost always point to the poor sleep I got the night before as the culprit. Make rest a priority and give yourself the gift of sleep.
11. Have boundaries
Boundaries are not popular in today’s culture. We often over schedule ourselves and over commit out of a sense of obligation to others. But if you aren’t able to bring your best self to the table then you aren’t doing anyone a service by overexerting yourself. Establish healthy boundaries with your calendar, your work and your relationships. Give yourself the time you need to take care of yourself so you can better take care of others.
12. Cultivate a hobby
Teach yourself to knit. Buy a scrapbook. Start a blog. Attend a class where you drink wine and paint. Create a hobby that is just for you and brings you joy. Having an intentional activity in your life that serves no end other than to bring you happiness will go a long way to foster healthy self-care.
13. Try something new
You can care for your mental health by challenging your mind to learn and expand. You will give yourself a boost by pushing your boundaries and stepping outside your comfort zone. Take a new route home from work. Go to an ethnic restaurant you’ve never tried. Learn a language with Rosetta Stone. Challenge your mind and it will be grateful for it.
14. Meditate or pray
Accessing your spirit/soul through meditation and pray is essential to holistic human health. Allowing yourself to really think about your values and beliefs will help you to feel more solid in your identity. Even if you don’t unlock the Truth of the Universe, or completely understand God or Divinity, giving yourself to space to engage with those big questions will go a long way in your emotional and spiritual life. It’s okay to not have all the answers, but you have to start letting yourself ask the questions.
15. Hug someone
Hug someone, or hold hands with a loved one. We need physical touch. We are hardwired to physically encounter other people, and our culture is becoming more and more digitized which is eliminating opportunities for essential non-sexual human contact. Let yourself linger in a hug from a friend or ask your partner to give you a non-sexual back rub. We need more of this kind of contact in order to be healthier and happier people.
This list is just a start! Begin the practice of consciously taking care of yourself and you will never regret it.
This article was first found in lifehack.org by Emily Myrin
Monday, 30 November 2015
8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More
You go to the gym to train your muscles. You run outside or go for hikes to train your endurance. Or, maybe you do neither of those, but still wish you exercised more. Well, here is how to train one of the most important parts of your body: your brain.
When you train your brain, you will:
Avoid embarrassing situations: you remember his face, but what was his name?
Be a faster learner in all sorts of different skills: hello promotion, here I come!
Avoid diseases that hit as you get older: no, thanks Alzheimer’s; you and I are not just a good fit.
So how do you train your brain to learn faster and remember more?
1. Work your memory.
Twyla Tharp, a NYC-based renowned choreographer has come up with the following memory workout: when she watches one of her performances, she tries to remember the first twelve to fourteen corrections she wants to discuss with her cast without writing them down. If you think this is anything less than a feat, then think again. In her book The Creative Habit she says that most people cannot remember more than three.
The practice of both remembering events or things and then discussing them with others has actually been supported by brain fitness studies. Memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function of the brain.
Now, you may not have dancers to correct, but you may be required to give feedback on a presentation, or your friends may ask you what interesting things you saw at the museum. These are great opportunities to practically train your brain by flexing your memory muscles.
What is the simplest way to help yourself remember what you see? Repetition.
For example, say you just met someone new.
“Hi, my name is George”
Don’t just respond with, “Nice to meet you”. Instead, say, “Nice to meet you George.” Got it? Good.
2. Do something different repeatedly.
By actually doing something new over and over again, your brain wires new pathways that help you do this new thing better and faster.
Think back to when you were three years old. You surely were strong enough to hold a knife and a fork just fine. Yet, when you were eating all by yourself, you were creating a mess. It was not a matter of strength, you see. It was a matter of cultivating more and better neural pathways that would help you eat by yourself just like an adult does. And guess what? With enough repetition you made that happen!
But how does this apply to your life right now?
Say you are a procrastinator. The more you don’t procrastinate, the more you teach your brain not to wait for the last minute to make things happen.
Now, you might be thinking “Duh, if only not procrastinating could be that easy!” Well, it can be. By doing something really small, that you wouldn’t normally do, but is in the direction of getting that task done, you will start creating those new precious neural pathways.
So if you have been postponing organizing your desk, just take one paper and put in its right place. Or, you can go even smaller. Look at one piece of paper and decide where to put it: Trash? Right cabinet? Another room? Give it to someone?
You don’t actually need to clean up that paper; you only need to decide what you need to do with it.
That’s how small you can start. And yet, those neural pathways are still being built. Gradually, you will transform yourself from a procrastinator to an in-the-moment action taker.
3. Learn something new.
It might sound obvious, but the more you use your brain, the better its going to perform for you. For example, learning a new instrument improves your skill of translating something you see (sheet music) to something you actually do (playing the instrument).
Learning a new language exposes your brain to a different way of thinking, a different way of expressing yourself.
You can even literally take it a step further, and learn how to dance. Studies indicate that learning to dance helps seniors avoid Alzheimer’s. Not bad, huh?
4. Follow a brain training program.
The Internet world can help you improve your brain function while lazily sitting on your couch. A clinically proven program like BrainHQ can help you improve your memory, or think faster, by just following their brain training exercises.
5. Work your body.
You knew this one was coming didn’t you? Yes indeed, exercise does not just work your body; it also improves the fitness of your brain.
Even briefly exercising for 20 minutes facilitates information processing and memory functions. But it’s not just that–exercise actually helps your brain create those new neural connections faster. You will learn faster, your alertness level will increase, and you get all that by moving your body.
Now, if you are not already a regular exerciser, and already feel guilty that you are not helping your brain by exercising more, try a brain training exercise program like Exercise Bliss. Remember, just like we discussed in #2, by training your brain to do something new repeatedly, you are actually changing yourself permanently.
6. Spend time with your loved ones.
If you want optimal cognitive abilities, then you’ve got to have meaningful relationships in your life. Talking with others and engaging with your loved ones helps you think more clearly, and it can also lift your mood.
If you are an extrovert, this holds even more weight for you. At a class at Stanford University, I learned that extroverts actually use talking to other people as a way to understand and process their own thoughts.
I remember that the teacher told us that after a personality test said she was an extrovert, she was surprised. She had always thought of herself as an introvert. But then, she realized how much talking to others helped her frame her own thoughts, so she accepted her new-found status as an extrovert.
7. Avoid crossword puzzles.
Many of us, when we think of brain fitness, think of crossword puzzles. And it’s true–crossword puzzles do improve our fluency, yet studies show they are not enough by themselves. Are they fun? Yes. Do they sharpen your brain? Not really.
Of course, if you are doing this for fun, then by all means go ahead. If you are doing it for brain fitness, then you might want to choose another activity
8. Eat right–and make sure dark chocolate is included.
Foods like fish, fruits, and vegetables help your brain perform optimally. Yet, you might not know that dark chocolate gives your brain a good boost as well.
When you eat chocolate, your brain produces dopamine. And dopamine helps you learn faster and remember better. Not to mention, chocolate contains flavonols, antioxidants, which also improve your brain functions. So next time you have something difficult to do, make sure you grab a bite or two of dark chocolate!
Now that you know how to train your brain, it’s actually time to start doing. Don’t just consume this content and then go on with your life as if nothing has changed. Put this knowledge into action and become smarter than ever!
So devote 30 seconds and tell me in the comments: what are you going to do in the next three days to give your brain a boost?
Courtesy: Maria Brilaki in lifehack.com
How To Memorize Things Quicker Than Other People
People like to joke that the only thing you really “learn” in school is how to memorize. As it turns out, that’s not even the case for most of us. If you go around the room and ask a handful of people how to memorize things quickly, most of them will probably tell you repetition.
That is so far from the truth, it’s running for office. If you want to memorize something quickly and thoroughly, repetition won’t cut it; however, recalling something will. The problem is that recalling something requires learning, and we all learn in different ways. Below are some universal steps to mastering the art of recalling so that you can start memorizing a ton of data in a short amount of time.
Before we start, you need to establish something: are you an auditory, visual, or experiential learner? If you’re an auditory learner, then the most effective way for you to grasp information is by hearing it. As you can imagine, visual learners favor seeing something in order to learn it, and experiential learning types are more akin to learning from events and experiences (or, doing something with the material). Most of us are a combination of at least two of these categories, but I will denote which step is most favorable to your most agreeable learning style so that you can start to memorize things quickly and efficiently.
Step 1: Preparation
To optimize your memorization session, pay close attention to which environment you choose. For most people, this means choosing an area with few distractions, though some people do thrive off of learning in public areas. Figure out what is most conducive to your learning so that you can get started.
Next, start drinking some tea. I could link you to mounds of scientific studies that confirm green tea as a natural catalyst for improving memory. Mechanically speaking, our ability to recall information comes down to the strength between neurons in our mind, which are connected by synapses. The more you exercise the synapse (repetition), the stronger it is, resulting in the ability to memorize.
As we get older, toxic chemicals will damage our neurons and synapses, leading to memory loss and even Alzheimer’s. Green tea contains compounds, however, that block this toxicity and keep your brain cells working properly a lot longer.
Step 2: Record What You’re Memorizing
This is especially useful if you’re trying to memorize information from a lecture. Use a tape recorder to track all of the acquired facts being spoken and listen to it. If you’re trying to memorize a speech, record yourself reading the speech aloud and listen to yourself speaking. Obviously, this is most helpful for auditory learners, but it’s also handy because it ensures that you’re getting more context from a lecture that will help you learn the information faster.
Step 3: Write Everything Down
Before you start trying to recall everything from memory, write and re-write the information. This will help you become more familiar with what you’re trying to memorize. Doing this while listening to your tape recorder can also help you retain a lot of the data. This is most useful for experiential learners.
Step 4: Section your notes.
Now that you have everything written down in one set of notes, separate them into sections. This is ideal for visual learners, especially if you use color coding to differentiate between subjects. This will help you break everything down and start compartmentalizing the information being recorded in your brain.
Step 5: Apply repetition to cumulative memorization
For each line of text, repeat it a few times and try to recall it without looking. As you memorize each set of text, be cumulative by adding the new information to what you’ve just learned. This will keep everything within your short-term memory from fading. Keep doing this until you have memorized that section and you are able to recall the entire thing. Do not move on to another section until you have memorized that one completely. This is mostly visual learning, but if you are speaking aloud, then you are also applying auditory.
Step 6: Write it down from memory
Now that you can recall entire sections, write everything down from memory. This will reinforce everything you just have just learned by applying it experientially.
Step 7: Teach it to someone (or yourself)
The most effective method for me when I was in school was to teach the information to someone else. You can do this in a variety of ways. You can lecture the knowledge to someone sitting right in front of you (or the mirror, if you can’t convince anyone to sit through it) and explain everything extemporaneously. If what you’ve learned needs to be recited verbatim, then do this in front of someone as well in order to get a feel for what it will be like to recite the text to the intended audience.
My favorite method for this is creating tests for other people. Take the information and predict what questions will come out of them. Use multiple choice, matching and so on to present the data in test format, and see how someone else does. All of this is experiential learning, since you are actually practicing and manipulating the concepts you’ve learned.
Step 8: Listen to the recordings continuously
While doing unrelated tasks like laundry or driving, go over the information again by listening to your tape recordings. This is certainly auditory learning, but it will still supplement everything you’ve shoved into your short-term memory.
Step 9: Take a break
Finally, let your mind breathe. Go for a short time without thinking about what you just learned and come back to it later on. You’ll find out what you really know, of course, and this will help you focus on the sections you might be weakest at.
This article was written by JON NEGRONI in lifehack.com
Saturday, 28 November 2015
17 Small Things To Do Everyday To Be Much Smarter
To have plenty of information
To focus on a problem or idea
He knew a lot about electrical engineering
He focused on solving a problem
In practice this means that where coffee can induce anxiety, high quality green teas cause a relaxed focus without inducing sleepiness. This is also why l-theanine is available as a supplement to aid in relaxation and increasing cardiovascular health.
As you can see on average people feel more sleepy than usual between noon and 4 PM. This is a perfect time to have a nap, and will increase your alertness and productivity for the rest of the day. Personally I’ve has good results with post-workday naps too (around 6 PM).10 Simple Hacks To Fall Asleep in 30 Seconds, Backed By Science
It’s easier said than done trying to actually catch some Z’s, and there is an entire spectrum of people, all desperately trying to claim back the realm of sleep and their quality of sleep. We all want high quality of sleep, and yet so many of us find ourselves tossing and turning hours after we hit the pillow, unable to slip into the Land of Nod.
1. Read A Book Before Bed
6. Meditate
7. Drink Some Warm Milk
8. Cut Out The Caffeine
9. Turn Off The Electronics
10. Invest In Some Blackout Curtains
The 5 Step Process To Get Any Level Of Success That You Want
The best products aren’t the ones that sell the most. The best music isn’t what you hear on the radio. The best movies aren’t the ones you go to see.
So why do you buy the products you buy?
Why do you see the movies you see?
You see the movies that are popular and buy name brand clothing because success is more about social influence than quality. Once someone is successful, it’s easier for them to remain successful because people rely on credibility to make decisions. We’re lazy and would rather someone else make our decisions for us. We trust what the masses, and experts, say.
So if someone is in a position of success, we believe their work must be good — even if it’s really not. Our perception alters our experience. If we think something will be good, it generally is…for us.
The great part is, we can use this understanding to achieve our goals quickly. Radically fast. And it doesn’t matter how audacious those goals are.
Here’s the process:
1. Start With “Why”
If you’re not motivated to do something, you won’t do it. You’ll quit.
We need something to work toward that is meaningful to us. For example, my father-in-law was easily able to lose 20 pounds for his daughter’s wedding. But unless he has something like that to work toward, his eating habits aren’t pretty.
Starting with why creates the vision. It’s after you have the vision that you determine the medium through which to achieve it.
Far too many people start with the medium and get stuck. Without the motivation behind their activity, most people fizzle out and “get a real job,” or simply “don’t have time for that kind of stuff.”
But once you have a strong enough motivation — your why — you won’t quit. You’ll keep going, even if you have to change the medium through which your vision is manifest. You’ll be willing to change the “how” until you get it right.
It might take decades. It might require switching jobs or hobbies or whatever it is you do 100 times. You may look like a non-committed fool.
The truth is, you’re committed to the vision and willing to look foolish.
2. Decide What You Want To Do
Thomas Edison’s vision to bring light to people was manifest in inventing a light bulb. He may have been brilliant, but by the time he had failed thousands of times to create the light bulb, statistically, he was bound to find the solution he was looking for.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work,” he said.
So many people start stuff, like a business, only to quit when it gets difficult. The problem with quitting your current project only to start another is that you’ll probably just quit the next one too. The problem isn’t usually the project. It’s you.
If you put as much work into your current project as you want to in your next project, you’ll succeed big rather than continuously quitting.
Sadly, people are chronic quitters. Our decision-making muscles have atrophied. We start a diet and find ourselves sneaking sugary sweets an hour later. We commit to our new pursuit but quit once things start getting complicated.
This whole quitting business has crushing psychological consequences.
Cognitive dissonance is the mental stress we experience when we experience internal conflict. When our beliefs and actions don’t match, we sense our own hypocrisy and contradiction. It eats us alive from the inside.
So, when you decide you want to do something, stick to it. The definition of decision is cutting away all other possibilities.
3. Persist Through Failures Until You Build Momentum
Whether you want to invent a light bulb, write a New York Times best-seller, transform the healthcare system, find your soulmate, or become President of the United States, your chances increase exponentially based on the amount of attempts you take.
You just have to want it bad enough to fail a thousand times. Once you want something that bad, you will take the required risks and acquire sufficient (not necessarily optimal) skills.
Which is why you must respect anyone who has succeeded big — they’ve chosen to play a different game than most. That decision is far more important and powerful than their ability to perform their craft. It is that decision — to succeed at the level they choose — which makes their work worth noticing.
They weren’t overnight successes. They failed until they succeeded. But one thing is for certain, they decided the direction they would fail toward. Thus, their failure moved them in a specific and planned direction.
Seth Godin calls this process The Dip. When you start anything, there is joy in newness. There is also progress because when you start anything, it’s usually pretty easy. But after a while, it gets hard. And that’s where most people quit.
But not you.
You’re going to fail 10,000 times. Because statistically, at some point, you will succeed. Thanks Edison. Remember, there’s no such thing as failure — only feedback. Quit being so hard on yourself.
At some point along the way, you’ll begin to convince yourself you’re going to succeed. You’ll experience enough small wins to begin building confidence. The people who said you were crazy will start to believe you.
You’ll start to believe yourself. You tell yourself something enough times, you begin to believe it.
4. Develop Radical Confidence
Read 1,000 books on wealth creation, success, and psychology and you’ll get the same underlying themes.
How do you change a person?
Change the internal dialogue in their head and change what they believe about their future.
The conversations we have in our head reflect our beliefs. Once you get a person to start talking optimistically to themselves about their goals, you bet your britches those goals will be real in no time.
So, while you persistently fail (i.e., feedback) over and over toward your dreams, your confidence will begin to increase. Your internal dialogue will change.
After enough small wins, you’ll know, not think, but know that you’re going to achieve the dream of your choosing.
Once that confidence happens, you will be a new person. As they say, the universe will conspire to make your decisions happen. You’ll attract mentors, money, opportunities, whatever you want.
5. Leverage Your Position
No matter how small your wins are, leverage your position. You have a high school diploma? Leverage your position!
You know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy? Leverage your position!
You get an article featured on some unknown blog? Leverage your position!
You have $100? Leverage your position!
Sadly, most people can’t stop looking at the other side of the fence. They fail to realize the brilliant possibilities currently available to them.
This is bad stewardship.
There are people you know who have information you need.
There are people you know who have capital you can use.
There are people you know who can connect you with people you should know.
Instead of wanting more, how about you utilize what you already have? Until you do, more won’t help you. Actually, it will only continue hurting you until you learn to earn something for yourself. It’s easy to want other people to do it for you. True success comes by taking ownership of your life. No one cares about your success more than you do.
Your current position is ripe with abundant opportunity. Leverage it.
Once you gain another inch of position, leverage that for all it’s worth. Soon you’ll find yourself in incredible positions and collaborating with your heroes.
Conclusion
Success is based on choice.
Success is based on having and maintaining a motivation worth fighting for. It’s based on believing what others might call a fantasy. It’s based on leveraging your position and maintaining the momentum of every step you take.
Courtesy: Benjamin Hardy
This ariticle was found in www.benjaminhardy.com
The Spirit of An Entrepreneur
Every disappointment is a blessing in disguise. Sometimes a big loss can be a catalyst to an even bigger gain. In the late 1990s, shop owners and businessmen in Lagos, Nigeria lost a lot of their shares in various corporations due to the economic and financial crunch of that period. The stock industry had suffered a huge downturn. Inflation, high interest rates, and other factors had substantially reduced the number of small and medium enterprises.
The situation was serious, so the governor sent his economic team to preach various new ways to yet gain financial value and achieve financial success.
Mark Alfred, a local businessman and well known figure decided to take a gamble and bet on car spare parts which was a relatively new business at that time. It was truly a case of taking the proverbial lemon and making a lemonade. In 1999, they shipped about 250,000 naira worth of vehicle parts. Now they ship approximately 30 billion naira worth of vehicle parts a year. How did it happen?
Vehicle spare parts sale had long been a booming trade in the Eastern part of Nigeria. By improving the storage process and delivery, Mark made it a goldmine in Lagos.
Mark's role is primarily that of a coordinator as he works with twenty five salesmen, including himself. They time the demand increase of the market so that they are prepared. The car parts when requested for are immediately transferred to point of request or the car is brought into their workshop. Immediately the parts are fixed into the car, a driver takes it back to the owner and the remaining part of the payment are made. This style of business helped growth exponentially.
By adding value to their product and services, Mark Alfred's company alongside some other businessmen in Lagos have opened a huge new market, a market largely facilitated by Mark Alfred's willingness to take a risk and try something new.
If you have an entrepreneurial spirit and are willing to take some risks, you can turn lemons into lemonade.
Friday, 27 November 2015
FUNMI IYANDA’S INSPIRING SPEECH AT UNIVERSITY OF CUMBRIA – “WHEN IN SOUP, LICK IT”
Veteran broadcaster and media entrepreneur Funmi Iyanda received her honorary fellowship from the University of Cumbria yesterday (November 25).
Read her full speech below:
Vice-Chancellor, University Staff, Distinguished Guests, Graduates, Ladies and Gentlemen, family and friends, thank you so much for those kind words and indeed for this wonderful honour. I’m very grateful, not just for this invitation to be an Honorary Fellow, but to be invited to share it with so many gifted individuals that it’s been my pleasure to meet today.
This fellowship is important to me because my father always wanted me to be a medical doctor, since that wasn’t happening l thought l’d get a doctorate to please him but l never got round to it so perhaps he’d posthumously accept this in lieu. Also l have never worn a graduation gown, so it was on my bucket list. This lovely university is close to my heart because it has educated some of the people dearest to me, accepted my country men and women with warmth and provided me great opportunities to share my rather skewed world view. I am excited at the prospects of future opportunities for mis-education that this fellowship will mean. Now let me share a few stories with you because stories are nice.
Nothing ever went the way I planned, well almost nothing. I had planned to torment my mother with teenager angst, but she died before I turned ten, ruining that excellent plan. At the beginning of this year I planned a major cinema project, a new TV show and a fashion school but then I fell very sick, ruining that senseless plan.
Last week my over-thinking 14 year old daughter Morenike asked if I thought there was an afterlife. I told her I doubted it but feel that, in much the same way our current existence makes little rational sense and we cope without prior prep, so will we cope in an afterlife without further prep from here on were such an afterlife to exist.
It must be my week of pointless questions because my friend John Maclean, the kindest misanthrope in the world, also asked how I have been able to do so many outstanding things despite limitations and setbacks. Because I like to confound him with Nigerian idioms, I told him the saying, “when in soup, lick it,” because I knew the idea of licking soup off one’s body would undo his tidy mind.
Growing up, I was an impoverished skinny girl with fat dreams. Naturally there was a lot of frustration but there was also a lot of going to markets because well my mother was dead and I was the oldest and only female child so I did most of the cooking. I developed a love for markets and a dislike for my aunt who always responded to all my frustrations with a non-committal “ona kan o woja” (there is no one route into the market). I could be discussing quantum physics with her and at my most perplexed point, she´d say but “Aduke ona kan o woja.”
It took years for me to understand that she was trying to teach me to repudiate ideology and dogma in favour of adaptability, functionality and multiplicity.
In my culture, getting good education is non-negotiable so l was determined to go to university. I worked 3 jobs from age 15 to save up for university. When l walked into the lush fields of the prestigious university of Ibadan in Nigeria, l kissed the grass and shed tears. Four years later when l walked out, l didn’t even bother to collect my certificate. In my second year of university l had also walked out of the church of my youth. Granted l was tired of the virginity requirement, being unaware that l could have lied about that like many wiser than me had. I walked out really because l was no longer convinced about the infallibility of the one way, the true way, the only way.
I had begun to discover that for many things there are many ways, particularly for markets.
I like markets, it is a place of human interaction, of pride in one’s product and hopefully fair exchange of products for needs.
Good markets have clear functional rules that allow fair and equitable exchange. When kingdoms seek to overtake another, they break their markets and militarily surround them. Breaking markets is symbolic of a suspension of respect for negotiation, interaction and fairness. A conviction that one’s way is best and others are best following that one way. You may recognise that principle in modern foreign diplomacy as “our interests”.
I hated school but loved education, I wanted to know things and discover things not be told things.
I wanted to be a writer but I didn’t see how writers got paid , since I hated asking anyone for money, I decided I’d be a journalist but my father wanted me to be a doctor because well, everybody’s father wanted them to be a doctor, also my father wished he was a doctor.
He said doctors made money and were respected; journalists just get blown up or become impoverished.
My father ate his words before he died five years ago, not because I didn’t get blown up, but because he liked to eat and words are nice.
So as a journalist, I saw and reviewed the world. Recently a friend asked me what I thought about modern civilisation and I answered that we may have made magical technological leaps but I doubt that we have a civilisation. More importantly I have begun to think that a lot of what we know may not have been completely unknown to past generations; I am alarmingly beginning to suspect they chose not to unleash some of that knowledge because they recognised our interest must align with the earth’s interest.
I have always thought that the greatest tragedy of civilisations lost around the world to slavery, colonization and oppression is deprivation of our modern civilization of alternative political, cultural and economic thought and systems, some of which were very sophisticated.
My mind boggles when l listen to my friend Dr. Bibi Bakare-Yusuf talk about the documented seven different pre-colonial forms of marriages in Yoruba culture. A culture evolved enough to be gender neutral without sloganizing.
So as I stand today in this gorgeous cathedral, suffused with a sense of history, of wonder and respect for those who have gone before us. Monuments like this emphasize how great our individual capacity is within the limit of our role in a never ending continuum of human endeavour.
The challenge with a winner takes all, one way to the market, best way to be approach is that it leaves too many behind and gives those lucky enough to fall within a narrow accepted box an over inflated sense of importance and a genuine lack of ability to solve unknown problems. Everyone ends up playing a role rather than living a life whether it is in marriages, parliament or academia. This does not make for responsive, adaptive and happy living. We are best when we are intelligent forces at play. Responsive, adaptive, artistic, functional and magical.
We are at a time of unknown problems with leaders schooled to solve known problems without the education to be robust in world view and a distracting pressure to perform to the lights rather than function in spaces of wisdom and introspection.
This is however not as scary as it may sound because when things no longer respond to plan, no matter how we posture or fight, it may be that we are in a large vat of soup with nothing but ourselves. It may be time to start licking that soup, not a very aesthetically pleasing solution, certainly not meant for TV but l bet it’ll be great on you-tube after all there is no one way to the market.
What is the point of education if smart people can’t find those alternative routes to the market?
That is my challenge to a new generation of leaders, thinkers and doers.”
Courtesy: elsiesy.com
Wednesday, 25 November 2015
HOW TO GET YOUR BUSINESS PROPOSAL ACCEPTED
'Let's see where it all leads'. That's one statement a young businessman never wants to hear on his business proposal. It's as though cold water has been poured upon his nice Italian suit that he wore on the day he came to show his business idea.
But what would you do if you were told those same words? Would you dive into the river and drown yourself? Or you would rather drown yourself in ways to make your business idea more enticing and attractive to a potential investor.
When a certain politician, Mr Olisa Metuh, said to our President, President Muhammadu Buhari, that he should stop demarketing the country, some people said that Mr Olisa was just ranting as a political noisemaker while some others saw some sense in the opinions of the man. This writ is not to show whose opinions I hold but there is no man alive who would want to eat a woman's, preferably his wife's, food after she has told him that their dog had peed in the food, and that their son, Junior, put some faeces in the food, and that when she was about serving the food, some of it fell on the floor and she was able to scrape it off the floor. If you were the man, tell me, would you eat the food, even if it smells nice and looks tasty? I'm sure I wouldn't. A food is as sweet as the packaging around it.
Same with a business idea, you cannot have a business idea that would yield millions of naira in six months and then package it like as if it would yield thousands of naira instead. When you properly describe the proposal to your investor and get him to see what the future of the project is and how he is likely to gain from it, you would have sold him more than half of the idea.
Now your charisma is also of importance when going on such an endeavor. Remember my illustration about the food. Imagine your wife brings in a meal and she is looking her dirtiest ever, it would take the grace of God to eat that food. So if you come looking like Tarzan and you want to get a person to invest in your idea, you're at best building a stone temple from sand, you're trying to do the impossible. So, please dress well when going on such a trip.
Finally, you yourself have to believe in the idea you're trying to sell. If you're not convinced of the vision, there is no way you can convince another man to invest in the vision. That is why some people will ask their wives to taste the food first. If she reluctantly does so, my guy no go chop that food o. So, you have to get yourself fully convinced of the idea before you set out to look for investors.
God's favour is always with us. So, let's get our act together and get men to invest in our vision. See you at the top!!!
Friday, 20 November 2015
Work Should Always be Enjoyed
boredom, vice and poverty. With that concept in mind, we can look at the benefits and understand that when working, you don't pay the price, you enjoy the benefits. Thomas Edison said, " There is no substitute for hard work. Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety nine percent perspiration". Samuel Goldwyn said, "the harder I work, the luckier I get". Pope John Paul said, " All life demands struggle. Those who have everything given to them become lazy, selfish, and insensitive to the real values of life. The very striving and hard work that we so constantly try to avoid is the major building block in the person we are today." Even Apostle Paul of the Bible said, "he that does not work must not eat". Benjamin Franklin puts it this way: " The used key is always bright". It is better to wear out than to rust out.
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| The boy in the middle has found the benefits of work. Find yours too!!! |
See why we keep forgetting what we were taught in schools
Ever wonder why you forget things and remember others? What if I told you that just as your in has certain signals for how to remember things, it also has certain signals to tell it what to forge? This information, coming from Lund University in Sweden has been supported by some compelling research. There are several reasons why you may forget information but it boils down to a simple concept — when your brain has one stimulus it tends to remember the information associated with this stimulus. In cases with multiple stimuli, you may forget because your brain does not know what to “assign” the association to. This information can change the way you learn and update the way teachers educate their students.
Examples of Mechanisms to Help Learn
After looking at the research conducted from Lund University, I realized it began a little bit like Pavlov’s study where he conditioned his dogs to salivate at the anticipation of food. At Lund University, they wanted to see if animals could learn to associate a certain tone or light pattern to a puff of air blown into their eye. The air buff in their eye causes the reaction of a blink. Therefore, eventually the tone or the light would make the animal or human blink before the puff had even been triggered. They found much like Pavlov’s dogs, this did work. When either the light or the tone was played the conditioning took affect and the subjects blinked as expected.
The Twist
The scientists then did something a little different with the study. Instead of having one stimulus, they decided to have a tone and the light signal at the same time. Some would think that this would reinforce the conditioning now that there were two things “warning” of the impending air puff. The result was somewhat surprising. Amazingly, the subjects were less likely to react to the two stimuli put together. The results got worse instead of better when there were two “warnings” given to the subjects.
As explained by one of the Swedish in researchers: “Two stimuli therefore achieve worse results than just one. It seems contrary to common sense, but we believe that the reason for it is that the in wants to save energy.”
The “Energy-Saving Brain”
Maintaining the pathways through the brain for both the tone and the light takes more energy than only having one. It is believed therefore that the in temporarily lets go of the information. Basically, when two pathways are developed the pathways sort of cluster with themselves . It’s like an “I thought you were going to take care of it.” “No, I thought you had this” type of conversation between the two pathways that result in freezing up.
The Lund researchers were able to show how nerve cells learn and forget through animals, but think humans should probably be the same. The two stimuli simultaneously activate neurons which stop the activity.
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| You can remember this because its a simple image with a simple message- creativity |
What Does This Mean in Practical Use?
In practical use, this information could help teachers to learn how best to present information, so they aren’t accidentally shutting off learning mechanisms while teaching. Students might find this information very valuable. Knowing how to best study and retain information would be valuable. If scientist can figure out how the pathways are shut off by stimuli or outside things, than it’s reasonable to assume that they can find what turns them on. Imagine being able to attend school and knowing exactly what will make the information stick! The potential impact of this information is significant!
Courtesy: membershine.comScientis
Thursday, 19 November 2015
Employable Unemployed or Unemployable Unemployed?
In utter disgust, I hear people say, " most of our graduates are unemployable". I don't opine so. Rather, I would say that most of our graduates are employable-at least to a certain degree. But many are unemployable in the better jobs because they do not have the training, background, education, or desire, most importantly, to have better jobs. Its true that they would like to have someone just give them the jobs, whether they are qualified or not. Even me, I would like that. Just like my friend, Dayo, says faith and stupidity are very alike. They have a very slim line between them. So some of our graduates, even though they know they aren't qualified for a job, go ahead to apply for the job. And they begin to feel bad when they are turned down. However, in business and industry, workers must bring in more than they cost in wages and benefits, or the company ultimately goes bankrupt and then no one has a job. It would be foolish of me to pay you 70,000 naira and you're bringing in 65,000 to my company.
A renowned bank in Nigeria had two hundred jobs available, but the bank could not fill all of those jobs out of some twenty thousand applicants. Incredulous, isn't it? The reason: Less than 100 applicants passed the aptitude test which was filled with basic math, English and general knowledge. So who is at fault? Some may say the parents did not discipline them to study; others may say the educational system is no longer functioning in meeting needs; still others may say the government has not subsidized the education of these people enough.
Reality says that ultimately each of us must accept responsibility to acquire the information we need to get the jobs we need to get the jobs we want. For example, for the nearly twenty thousand who could not qualify for one of those well paying jobs at the bank, the solution is to go directly to one of the community colleges and catch up on math and English and listen to the news more. Ask questions about the job you're applying for. Know what's likely to be asked and prepare yourself in that direction. Its true that this move requires initiative and facing some embarrassment, but refusal to deal with the issue is not going to make it any easier or better.
Summarily, if you would like to get a better job, get help. It's amazing what three hours a week for about ten weeks will do to improve your skills, confidence, and self esteem. Do it now- get help and your life will improve.
And as my friends will say, don't forget the God-factor. Pray before you set out on a job quest. See you at the top
Wednesday, 18 November 2015
We All have Heroes
How to remember who you are. Its by remembering who your heroes are. Who is your hero? Remember who he or she is, and you'll be able to remember who you are. I've got many heroes in my life. They've helped me at different stages in life and for that, I'll always remain grateful.
Sunday, 8 November 2015
Pa James- Learn how to use adverse situations
James had been one of the most uninspiring students in our department. We were students in the department of Biochemistry, University of Ibadan. There was nobody that wanted to be friends with James. Right from when we were freshmen in the University, James just couldn’t attract anybody to become his friend, no matter how hard he tried.
What caused this was the awesome fact that James was bald and was also greying at the tender age of 20. So everybody thought he was an old man that had just found his way to school. No man wanted to associate with Pa James. He looked so bald and grey that he was called Pa James, the ancient of days.
Compounding the precarious predicament, the popular comedy series maker, Laugh Out Loud Productions decided to shoot a movie titled ‘the travails of Pa James’. This movie was set to premiere at the University of Ibadan Arts theatre. This made James very popular in the University. He was so ‘popular’ that people made fun of him wherever he went in the University.
In his penultimate year in the University, he ran for Student Union President, and his campaign slogans included these:
“Don’t be a senile old man or a papa, vote for Pa James.”
“With grey hair comes wisdom, vote for wise decisions.”
“Make University of Ibadan fly high with Pa James”
“Vote for experience, ride on the shoulders of giants, vote for Pa James.”
And guess what, Pa James won the elections and became the First Student Union President since the Student Union was reconstituted. How sweet was it to graduate from the University an honour student, student Union President and most liked person in the whole University.
James utilized an otherwise adverse situation and made it work for him.
Some of us had similar experiences and happily fed on the pity that people doled out to us. That should not be the case, we need to pick up ourselves and make the best use of our situations.
Remember, there are many pages in a book, what makes the book finally worth reading is not just one page in the book but rather what the whole book says in the end. So write your own book concerning your life, don’t let one page or some few pages in your book determine the whole book for you. Determine how your book will end. Make your own stories favour you. Lots of people have done it, you can do it too.
How do you treat situations?
When you have someone that has given you some advice on how to view life, you are set for life. When John’s father said to John, “John, everything depends on how you want to look at what happens in life. If doesn’t make a difference what is going on ‘out there’-What makes a difference is how you take it.”
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| Its all a matter of perception |
Instead of John being taught that his glass was half-empty, his father taught him “your glass is half-full.” He taught him to view life as something that was continually opening and expanding with new opportunities and events to enjoy.
Somewhere John’s dad picked up a bit of quantum physics theory. Depending on the kind of experiment you conduct, a particle of light can become a light beam or a light wave. It all depends on how you want to examine it. The light can change form, not because of its properties-it still remains light-but because of how you choose to behold it. John’s dad taught him that ugliness or beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Want and abundance are in the eye of the beholder. Being mediocre or being the best depends on the eye of the beholder.
John’s father had taught John to have a good self-esteem of himself. So, at school, what other kids said about John or did mattered little to John. Just like John’s father usually told John, “ I used to care about what people said about me, till one day I tried to pay my bill with their opinions.” What mattered to me was the way I handled what others might do or say.
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| She used the moment and 'became' an angel, you need to use your situations too, get the best out of them |
It doesn’t matter what’s going on out there, what makes a difference is how you take it.
Grandma, was another person John learnt a lot from. She taught him that irrespective of the ways people treated him, he should treat them with love and respect and that would, in turn, influence how they now treated him. She told him of the time her husband wanted to chase her away from the house because he wanted to marry another wife. John’s grandpa beat her and denied her their conjugal rights and refused to give her money or let her go to the farm to make some money for herself. Yet, grandma Betty refused to allow that influence the way she responded to him. Instead, she always submitted to her husband, she always sang praises of him in public and when they were at home, she always made sure that she prepared the best of meals for him and the children. And soon, Grandpa began to realize the error in his ways and thus began to treat her just as she treated him. When John learnt this from Grandma, he always made it his job to treat people not as they treated him but as how he wanted them to treat him.
Oh! Mom and Dad
Learning from Victory's story:
You might say that I had a boring childhood. The average child went to fun places like the farm or fun cites. I spent mine poring through every book I could find. My elder brothers got so tired of me that they started hiding their books from me. When I look back at my childhood, the early 1990s and early 2000, I realize that my dog eared sister’s books and my underlinings in my brothers’ books had more value to me than my blue and red ATM VisaCard is to me now. It didn’t matter the genre of the book as long as it was black print on paper, I saw them as tickets to new adventures. To me, everything in a book must be believed to be understood and I saw these books as the complete reality. Hence, I was tagged a bookworm.
All my life, fantasies and reality weren’t much different to me. As children, we regularly mixed myths and truths. There is no real issue until we carry these myths and think that they are facts. This is the case when we begin to believe these myths. And before we know it, we have believed a load of untruths and that leads us down a worthless, frustratingly futile dead end road.
Like most of my age mates. Fantasy for us was from games or cartoons, whatever colourful thing on television. Having consumed all books available, I dived into TV watching and before you know it; my TV became a major satisfier for my never ending imagination.
I did a lot of playacting while growing up. I didn’t do the mama and papa ones I just learnt children did while I was growing up. I have lots of brothers, you see, and there was really not much time for playing with anybody that was not my sibling. Still, I relied on my comic book collection, Supa Strikas, and tried to play ‘Shegs’ but football was not my calling so I stopped acting ‘Shegs’. I then moved to X-men series. I liked the Wolverine character, hence started playing him. I would put three nails with each nail between my fingers and then ‘be wolverine’. I also did ‘Superman’ with my father’s wrapper tied around my neck like a cape. Oh, what a fun time that was.
I was born and raised in Lagos, Portugal….oops, I meant Lagos, Nigeria. Once a while, it would be nice to claim things, wouldn’t it? I was born during the emergence of my country from military rule so things were a bit tight. I recall wearing more than one sock per foot on my way to school so that each sock would cover the holes in the sock on top or beneath it. What a pair of shoes I had! They were my play shoes, school shoes, and Sunday shoes all in one. I believe that any piece of clothing is good as long as you haven’t outgrown them. So I took care of these shoes until the soles were as thin as a paper or until my feet outgrew them….glory/ gory scenario, you think?
Air-burger and Water….
We had little money but my mom was and is still a genius in making us seem rich…especially in our food. She packed my lunch, usually yam and palm oil, as if I was having lunch from Kentucky fried Chicken. I remember the morning I asked her what the meal of the day was, expecting her to say her usual ‘white yam and red oil’ reply, she beamed with the most beautiful smile ever and said, “young man, today, you’re eating air-burger and water”. I was so happy on hearing it was a different meal from the norm that I didn’t even bother to check my lunch pack until I got to school. Break time had barely reached by the time I dived into my lunch pack only to realize my mom had only put water in my waterbottle and nothing else. So I yawned all through the rest of the day… and that’s how I ate lots of airburgers that day. Funny mommy, she could even make poverty fun.
My dad was and still is a man of awesome imagination, and we would often play a little good night game that became our special ritual. After telling us lots of village stories about the tortoise, why it had a broken shell or why the moon stayed in the sky not on earth or why the moon shone very bright only by the end of the month, he would come into our room, the boys’ room to tuck each of us in. My dad was a handyman so he fit little bedside lamps beside each of our beds. When he was tucking us in, we would use that opportunity to tell him about our day, who beat us in school, who we beat in school and stuffs like that and he would offer bits of advice here and there. And as he was leaving my bedside, Dad had a way of leaning back against the switch of my bedside lamp and rubbing against it to ‘magically’ blow out my light like the birthday candles on the cakes I saw in movies.
As he did his little routine, Dad would say: “I’m blowing out your light now, and it will be dark for you. In fact, as far as you’re concerned, it will be dark all over the world because the only world you ever know is the one you see through your own eyes. So remember, Victory, keep your light bright. The world is yours to see that way. I love you, Son. Good night”.
When I was very young, I used to lie there in bed after Dad left and ponder upon what Dad said. What exactly did he mean that the whole world was dark while I slept? It was really confusing to think that my sleep meant the world’s darkness and that the only world I would ever know was the one I would see through my own eyes. What Dad was trying to tell me was that when I went to sleep at night, as far as I was concerned, the world came to a stop. When I woke up in the morning, I could choose to see a fresh new world through my own eyes-if I kept my light bright. I could thus choose to have a bright outlook to life and the world would be bright to me. I could choose to be happy and the world would be happy. If I was not feeling well, the world was not feeling well also.
Having that understanding set me on a course in life that no matter what life throws at you, its all a matter of how you see it and react to it. Mommy made having only water as lunch in school sound like the royal dream of every child. Daddy helped me to always choose how I would always see life and the world. Seeing life as I wanted to see it helped me choose what I wanted in life and arrange how I got what I wanted from life. And handling situations as they come, Momma’s style helped me always make the best use of situation. If life hands you yam, make yam porridge with it. if life hands you lemons, make lemonades. That’s what I have done and yet do. And that is what you should do and always do.
This is just me scratching my head…it helps to do so though, lol.